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God's Measure

Writer's picture: Jenna DurbanJenna Durban


Have you ever found that spirituality is not linear, or even measurable? Last year I was at the Brooks and Dunn concert with my father. They started to play I Believe, which happened to be the same song we danced to at my wedding. In Nationwide Arena crowded with hundreds of strangers, the cell phone lights blazed brightly through the dark rows. Voices soared and I grabbed tight to my Dad’s hand. I yelled from the top of my lungs to him,


WE ARE ALL GOING TO HEAVEN! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US!


Jenna with her Dad, Jeff and sister Talia,  sister-in-law Camille.
Jenna with her Dad, Jeff and sister Talia, sister-in-law Camille.

Now,  I don’t know where that came from. I don’t know why I said that. But ten months later, he was the first to show me that it was true.


As the lyrics foretold…


 If there was ever anybody deserved a ticket to the other side

It'd be that sweet old man who looked me in the eye.



That’s spirituality!


It’s confusing, sometimes painful and overwhelming for the mind to process. Certain things about it can take time to acquire a taste for, or to even understand. What works for you year-to-year can shift as quickly as Ohio weather. You might attend church regularly for years and then suddenly realize it no longer fulfills all your soul's needs, or vice-versa. You may yoga yourself into a pretzel and gain the physical physique of those guys in the small loin cloths, only to wake up to the realization that you may have torn your rotator cuff and you’ve never felt more out of balance. 



Kirtan with Krishna Das at The Art of Living Center, Boone NC
Kirtan with Krishna Das at The Art of Living Center, Boone NC

Back in August, a small group of us took a trip to see Krishna Das, who is a student of Neem Karoli Baba. Neem Karoli Baba is a beautiful guru & saint of India. It was one of the few times I have experienced live Kirtan.


Kirtan is a spiritual practice where you sing the Divine name over and over using ancient mantras. You sing until it feels like forever and the only thing your entire being is focused upon is God/Universe. In my experience, for a few brief moments when chanting, time completely stops. All the bullshit. All the walls. All the stories. All the drama. All the opinions I have within myself, about what is "good" or "right" or heavenly "



Jenna at Kirtan in Boone, NC
Jenna at Kirtan in Boone, NC

I found myself again looking around at all these people, from all these walks of life, focused on ONE thing and I thought, This is Heaven.


But wait. 


What do Nationwide Arena & Sacred Kirtan have in common? 


What’s the common denominator? 


From what I gather, when we sing, even terribly, we let go of something. We let go of our need to be something. We don’t sing in a crowd to be the one to be heard. In those moments, the divine spontaneously emerges without warning or expectation and  smack! You are in Heaven. What I've discovered, is that spirituality functions outside the rules of space and time. I have found that, maybe heaven is not a place, but a state-of being and seeing. 


I mean, who knows? Maybe that moment at Brooks and Dunn was the REAL THING. Maybe I was getting a glimpse of what it will be when I see my Dad again? And the real “good news”? 


You were all there too!


Jenna is now offering Sacred Singing at House of Nirvana (aka Madhukara North) Monthly. Visit her website here to learn more. Next event is Sunday, Feb 16 at 1:30pm.



Song of the Week - Brooks & Dunn I Believe





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